Red lights on blue bodies
by Der schwarze Prinz
Summary: He broke out of the normal life, got away from the people he disappointed and found himself caught between heaven and hell, knowing he would not be able to turn around and go back. He was too far gone. Jake Baker was lost. Hanging around with thieves and drug addicts. But it was okay. He was okay. Or so he thought. Warnings: Drug abuse.
1. Prologue

**Author´s Note:** I haven´t written fanifiction for more than a year, but somehow I got back to this fandom and a could not resist. This idea did not just come up to my mind. It was made up step by step while I was listening to the songs I will use in this story. I don´t know if I will ever finish it, but I really hope so.

**Warinings: **This story is rated T so far, but it will contain several drug abuse, maybe bad language and maybe some violence.I can´t really tell because I don´t know how deep I will go into all of this.I hate rating my fanfictions, because everyone is different, some might be more capable of dealing with such content at the age of thirteen then others are at the age of sixteen.Don´t like, don´t read.If you think it should be rated higher, tell me.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own cheaper by the dozen, nor the songs that will be used.They came out of the minds of brillinat individuals and I will not use them for anything but creating gratis entertainment.

**Special Thanks:** To Islanda, who took the time to beta this.

**Prologue  
**_**The Railroad**_

_I was caught in the middle of a railroad track  
I looked around and I knew there was no turning back  
My mind raced and I though what could I do  
and I knew there was no help, no help from you  
(AC/DC – Thunderstruck)_

The sun was rising.

Its red rays were hitting the earth with enormous power, creating sweat upon Jake's forehead.

He had lost track of time and orientation long ago while it had still been dark, and now he was afraid he would not make it back. The only thing that kept him focused were the railroads in front of his feet, making it easier for him to keep going, to put one foot in front of the other, step by step.

Jake Baker was lost, but it did not matter. Hell, he was not panicking at all. He had been lost many times before and he had always somehow made it back. This was just another moment where he could prove it to whoever he needed to. Maybe to the man beside the road who was standing next to his expensive car, yelling at him.

"Hey man!"

Jake ignored him. Should he yell until the level-crossing rose up and he could drive to whatever unsatisfying job he had, making him of billions of people panicking as soon as something unprepared happened. He liked it here, so he would stay.

"Come on, man, the train is coming!"

There was something in the man´s voice Jake could not really understand. Anger perhaps, or panic. And then there was another noise. A long, simple and loud horn of a train.

He turned himself around and his eyes grew large as a train kept rolling in his direction.

He would sure have done something, if only his mind hadn't been so clouded. Jake then felt pain in his back, before he landed face on. Before he could realize anything else, everything went black.


	2. The White Room

**Author´s Note: **So here´s the second chapter of my new story. I hope it brings some light into the dark. Not that it would lighten it up. It´s a dark story and it will become darker. You have been warned.

**Warnings: **This story will definitely contain drug abuse and a lot of things that come along with it. But this chapter is pretty harmless, I guess. Besides some bad words.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own "Cheaper by the dozen" or its characters. I´m just lending them for a while. The song used at the beginning isn´t mine neither. It was sung by the amazing Tom Waits.

**Thanks go to: **My beta Islanda, who took the time to fix the mistakes, cause I´m no native speaker. Thank you very much.

**1st Chapter**

_**The White Room**_

_When there´s nothing left to keep you here  
when you´re falling behind in this big blue world  
(Tom Waits – Hold on)_

The first time he woke up, everything he saw was white.

Bright, blinding white, that made his head throb and his eyes burn so badly that he could not keep them open for more than two seconds. He also felt horribly sick and the urge to throw up was building up inside of his stomach. Soon enough, it was all gone and he fell back in a restless slumber.

The next time Jake woke up, he could identify the bright white as a hospital room and the feeling of sickness in his stomach grew stronger once again. He knew that he needed to get out of here as soon as possible.

Jake somehow managed to sit up, even as his whole body was in a lot of pain. He guessed that they did not give him the good stuff; the good stuff that he wanted.

With as much effort as he could muster, Jake brought his legs over the edge of the hospital bed when suddenly his head started spinning.

"Fuck", he murmured as he brought his hands up to his head, his eyes closed.

For a moment he just sat there, trying to regain his strength, trying to remember what the hell happened that made him end up in a hospital room. Some pictures of a railroad came up to his mind and Jake shook his head. He must have been really stupid.

Suddenly, the door flew open and a doctor, some old guy, too old in Jake's opinion, entered the room, a red clipboard in his hand. There were thin glasses on his nose and he walked straight up to Jake. The doctor then took a chair from the window and took a seat, placing the clipboard on the table and turning around to face Jake as he began to speak.

"I'm Dr. Hart," he said with a curt nod, introducing himself. "You're probably wondering how and why you're here so I'll try and fill in a few details for you, Jacob. You were found wandering on a railroad, not paying attention to the train that was approaching you," he began. "Luckily for you, a nearby driver who was waiting at the level crossing noticed you just in time. He called out for you, trying to get your attention to the train, but as he said, you were not noticing him at first. As soon as you realized something was going on, you did not make any attempt to get off the railroad. The driver, Wesley McCartney was very heroic. He ran and pushed you out of the way, risking his own life in the process. That was when you lost consciousness. Wesley called an ambulance and you were brought here, to the Chicago Medical Center," the doctor explained.

"While testing your blood, we could find high amounts of diacetylmorphine. As well as that and the not well hidden injection points on your arms give us evidence that you were consuming heroin," the doctor said with a sigh. "Is there something you want to say, Jacob?"

Jake was stunned. He had tried, with all his power, to stay out of trouble that would cause an encounter with the police or hospital staff. And now, he was damned. Fuck, he thought to himself.

"It´s none of your business, Sir," Jake grumbled.

"Jacob – that´s your name, right? Jacob Baker, son of Tom and Kate Baker, living in Evanston, Illinois. Age twenty-one", the doctor had looked it up in his file and was now focusing on Jake again.

Jake gulped. "How do you know that?"

"You were reported missing exact ten months ago. Back then, you were under twenty-one and were therefore documented as a missing minor. You just became a legal adult five weeks ago. But I would say, in your case, legal is the wrong term. We will need a psychologist meeting you to see if you can be claimed as a legal adult."

Jake snorted. This was unbelievable. This doctor was a big, white, sassy ass, and he hated him. And he hated himself for being so damn stupid and getting caught. What the hell was he doing on that railroad? He couldn´t remember. He sighed and absently scraped the crook of his left arm. He needed a plan and he needed one now.

Just in time, someone knocked at the door and seconds later a nurse stuck her head into the room.

"Dr. Hart?" She said, the doctor turning his head to see who was speaking. "The boy´s parents are here."

"I´m coming Julie, thanks."

Dr Hart stood up and took the clipboard into his right hand.

"I´m going to talk to your parents, before I let them in," he explained. You should get some rest." With those words, he left the room.

~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~

As soon as the doctor left the room, Jake panicked. He did not want anything to do with his parents. He did not want to see them or speak to them ever again. Hell, he did not even want them to know where he was. He needed a plan, but his head was throbbing and the room still spinning and the damn itching on his left arm did not help at all. He tried to take a few deep breaths but within seconds, instead of deep breaths he was near hyperventilating and his damn right leg started to twitch.

That was a stupid move. Meaningless since when he laid in this hospital, it could not have been long enough for the withdrawals yet. "Fuck."

He held his breath for a minute and finally managed to calm down. He closed his eyes and started to think. He needed to get out of the hospital, but the doctor and his parents were waiting behind that door, which left the window. Jake did not know what was outside the window, but damn, he hoped that there was a balcony or something like that. Jake then noticed that he was not wearing his own clothes, but a white hospital shirt. He realized that the first step would be to find his own clothes.

Jake was starting to slip down on the floor when the door opened for the third time and Jake's heart seemed to stop for a moment when he saw who entered. It was his parents.

~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd

Tom Baker´s face was old.

The years hadn´t passed by without leaving their marks. There was something about his eyes that made Jake frown. There was something off; they weren´t happy anymore. Jake gulped and lowered his gaze when he noticed his mother standing next to his father. He could not even bring himself to look up at her.

"Jake." Kate's voice was soft, only a breath. She was approaching him within seconds, pulling him into hug. He shifted uncomfortably, squirming himself free. For a moment, Jake got a view of her face and he got sick again, not enduring the pain in her eyes. The pain he´d caused.

"Hey mom", he wanted to say, but the words stuck in his throat as a lump formed.

Right then his father stepped next to him. "Hey Jake", he said, his tone of voice not leaving any possibility to interpret his feelings.

"You´re coming home with us now, Jake", his mother said, sadness in her eyes. "Let´s get you into some more comfortable clothes."


	3. Home

_**Hello there!  
Here´s another chapter.  
**__**Once again:**__** I am no native speaker and so you´ll probably find a bunch of mistakes.  
**__**Disclaimer: **__**I do not own Cheaper by the dozen.  
**__**Warnings: **__**For this chapter? One bad word. Nothing else. For the whole story? Drug abuse.  
**_

**2****nd**** Chapter  
**_**Home**_

_Oh you can hear me cry  
see my dreams all die  
from where you standing, on your own  
it´s so quiet here, and I feel so cold  
this house no longer  
feels like home  
(Ben Clocks – Cold)_

Streets, trees and human beings past by like fast flowing sand through unclosed hands.

Jake could not watch it too long as he got sick by the unsteady pictures he caught. He tried to focus on something else than the outside, especially because every time he turned his head to the window the first thing he´d see would be his own sick, pale reflection. His own self, his curly hair hanging woozily into his dark, dulled eyes, but still not being able to hide the dark circles that formed under them or the too outstanding cheek bones.

He looked sick.

The first twenty minutes of the one hour drive from Chicago to Evanston Jake had gone into a nice slumber, but then they had gotten into traffic jam and Jake had gotten more and more nervous.

It had not taken long for him to realize that the steady tremor in his right leg, his running nose and the heat waves that were soon followed by cold chills running down his spine were the first signs of withdrawal. He gulped hoping he would be able to get out of this misère of rebounding parents – hell, get out of this car – before it got really bad and the pain would start.

He took a deep breath and turned his head around so he would be able to see his parent´s reflexion in the driving mirror. "Could we stop for a moment? I feel sick."  
His father took a worried gaze in the mirror to look at him, and then he focused on the road again.  
His mother instead turned around to him. "There´s a bucket under Nigel´s car seat."

A bucket under the car seat. Jake tried not to snort while he leant back and looked out of the window again. So they did not care. Why did they come to get him then at all?  
Absently he ran his arm over his running nose, fiddling with the ends of the sleeves. He needed no bucket. At least not so soon.  
Somehow he managed to fall asleep again.

~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~

He just woke up in time when the car stopped right in front of their house.

Immediately his heart started beating faster, too fast. Panic build up inside him and shortened his breaths.

He tried to unbuckle his seatbelt but his hands were too shaky and his vision too blurry. Then his father opened the door, wordlessly leant forward to free Jake and turned around walking straight up to the house, where Kate was already waiting in front of the door.

Taking a deep breath, Jake stumbled out of the car, almost losing hold of himself as his legs threatened to give in. He steadied himself with one hand at the car for a moment, before the shaking ebbed down he was able to walk over to the house.

He remembered, that back when everything was fine, back when he hadn´t been a total wreckage, coming home always made him feel safe.

Something about the big, white house had been able to bring a simple smile out of him, even on the most horrible days. He had calmed down immediately, as if in here, nothing could harm him anymore. As if this house could fix everything.

This feeling was gone completely now. Right now, this house felt like a stranger, too quiet, too cold, too clean. Too clean for him and his dirty clothes, his old shoes and his heat flashed cheeks.

Whatever was about to happen, this house would no longer be able to fix him, to clean up the mess he was, because all that was left of his former self were spooky oddments hanging loosely in the door frame.

"Jake!"  
A scream woke him from his daydream and made him try to shake the fog out of his mind. Before he could do anything else something blurry and small ran up to him and crashed into him, almost making him fall over before pulling him into a hug.

For a moment, Jake was totally flashed, before the cloudy something scaled of again and he could identify it as Jessica, his little sister.

"I´m glad you´re back", she said, stroking his arm like he was a little child.

He did not know what was scarier: the fact that she hadn´t change a little bit since his departure or that she seemed to be much happier about his return than their parents.

"How are you doing?" she started, grabbing his hand and pulling him with her. "Stupid question, don´t answer it. But don´t worry, it will be alright. I cleaned up your room for you, so you would feel comfortable. You´re hungry? I cooked pasta if you want to. Or I could make some scrambled eggs. My cooking abilities increased a lot lately, so don´t worry –"

She went on like this while they were entering the kitchen, where his parents sat at the counter, both a cup of coffee in their hands, silent.

"Jake?"

"Hm, I´m sorry Jess, what did you say?"

"You want coffee, too?"  
"No, thanks, just water, please."

She went on rumouring in the kitchen, taking out glasses and plates, until she set a full glass of water and a half empty water bottle in front of him.

With shaky hands he took the glass and sipped the water. That was when he noticed how thirsty he was. Like he hadn´t drunk something I ages. He gulped it down in one take, grabbing the bottle then to fill the glass up again, but his hands were too shaky.

The moment he set the bottle on the end of the glass, the jar tilt over, rolled over the edge of the counter and shattered on the floor. Jake flinched by the sound that caused his head hurt, immediately sitting down on the floor.

"I´m sorry", he mumbled, trying to clean up the mess by picking up the pieces of glass that were spread on the floor. But his hands were too shaky and he cut himself.  
"Fuck", he swore, rising his bloody fingers to his mouth and sucking on it.

Suddenly Jessica was kneeling in front of him, grabbing his wounded hand and pressing a wet towel on it. "It´s not that bad and will stop bleeding soon", she suggested. "I´ll clean up the fragments. There´s some pasta waiting for you on the counter."

It was the first time he really looked someone in the eyes since he had woken up in the hospital. Hers were the same green as he remembered them. Perhaps not everything had changed.

Suddenly feeling his stomach rumour, he rose up and sat down at the counter again. There was a huge plate with pasta placed in front of him, still steaming. Within seconds, he felt sick, standing up so fast, that his chair fell to the ground.

The next thing he knew was that he somehow made it to the bathroom, hanging over the toilet and retching out everything that was left in his stomach.

_**I already got two favorite, one follower and 128 views on this story, and this is great! Thank you.  
Maybe you could review this chapter? Every single review can help me improve.  
I could use a beta, too.**_

**_Right now, I´ve got a huge writers block and I haven´t written a single word for a month or so. The good thing is, I already wrote two other chapters, but the 5th chapter hangs in there with a lot of problems. Here again, a beta could help._**


	4. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

_**Here is the 3**__**rd**__** Chapter, after what feels like forever I finally managed to upload it.  
I´ve got a writer´s block influencing the 5**__**th**__** Chapter (6**__**th**__** when you count in the prologue) since an eternity and after a while I somehow forgot about this story. **_

_**Thankfully, the review of a mysterious guest made me trying to work on this again.  
Many thanks to this person. Well one of your questions will be partly solved in this chapter. **_

_Disclaimer_: **I**_** do not own Cheaper by the Dozen, nor do I own the song used at the beginning, "Crooked Teeth" by "Death Cab for Cutie". Also the title is lent form a movie title. Sadly, I never saw the movie, I only found the title fitting. No rights belong to me. Only the idea is mine.**_

_Author´s Note: __**English is not my native language and sadly I do not have a beta. I am sorry for mistakes. If there are any, tell me, I´ll correct them. **_

**3rd Chapter**

_**The Good, the Bad and the Ugly**_

_I´m the war of head versus heart  
and it´s always this way  
my head is weak and my heart always speaks,  
before I know what it will say  
(Death Cab for Cutie – Crooked Teeth)_

After he left the bathroom, he had headed immediately for his old room.

It looked still the same, beside the fact that it was too tidy. When he still lived here, Jakes room would never be tidied up, clothes and school books always lying on the floor, his CDs lying upon another in the corner by his stereo.

Now his bed had been done and nothing lay in his way while he stumbled into his room, letting himself falling on the bed tiredly.

His mouth tasted funny, but he didn´t care.

Sure if he wanted he could have asked his mother for a tooth brush, but nowadays Jake was used to the sticky taste in his mouth. His nose was still running and his eyes were watering the whole time.

He knew that he should probably get some sleep, but now that he was alone, he could not focus due to the steady shaking that grew from just being in his right leg to his hands and shoulders.

He was restless, not being able to find a comfortable position, shifting every five seconds.

Jakes mind raced, trying to get an idea how to get himself calm, but he could not think clearly, his fingers willed to scratch the crooks of his arms, that were itching horribly.

He had no idea how long he had been out cold in the hospital, how many hours had passed since he took his last shot, since he wandered along the railroad.  
It did not matter. He was home now. Perhaps it was the time to restart it all. To get away.

The thought somehow lulled him, making him fall into slumber again, blocking out the itching and the cold spills running through his body.

Something back in his head told him, that falling asleep wouldn´t help the itching, nor the uncomfortable feeling he´d had since he´d entered this house that was supposed to be his home. That it would grow worse.

But sleep was stronger.

~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd

He woke up by the sound of voices.

For a moment he was disorientated, not knowing where he was, until he recognized the chamber he was in as his old room, telling him that he was home, night already falling outside his window.

He could not tell how long he had slept, but somehow the itching on his arms was gone, even if the trembling of his leg had grown stronger.

He sat up, trying to focus as the world started spinning as he rose from his sitting position and made his way to the door.  
Somehow he was feeling way better. Jake smiled to himself, until he got a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror hanging on his wardrobe. He looked pathetic.

His smile froze as he left the room and made his way downstairs. The voices came out of the kitchen, but as soon as Jake entered, they fell silent.  
His youngest brothers, Mike, Nigel and Kyle were home, sitting at the counter alongside his parents and Jessica.

"Hey Jake", one of the twins said – Jake couldn´t even tell if it was Nigel or Kyle – and the other one just smiled shyly.  
"Hey", he said, his voice being raspy.  
"You´re thirsty, Jake?", Jessica asked.

He just nodded, trying to make eye contact with Mike, who had suddenly stiffened in his position. How old was he right now? Fifteen? Sixteen? Jake did not really know. His mind couldn´t focus on things like that anymore.

He sat down far away from his family, avoiding their gazes. Jessica set a cup of water in front of him, probably she thought that cups were easier to hold then a glass, and rushed out of the room, mumbling something about the bathroom and being back soon.

An uncomfortable silence filled the kitchen after she left, until his father finally broke it.  
"How are you feeling, Jake?"  
They all knew it was a stupid question. Hell, he already experienced withdrawal, so what was he supposed to say? But Jake was thankful for the tries.  
"Okay, I guess." Considering the circumstances.

But it seemed to be the wrong words. Suddenly Mike just snored loudly and jumped of his chair. "Sure. Everything is alright. Just come back as nothing happened, Jake."  
With those words he left the kitchen, seconds later they could hear the front door open and close.

"Don´t listen to him, Jakey", his mother said.  
If this would have been so easy.

~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~

It was a fight. It always was. A fight between the Good and the Bad, between head and heart.  
His head knowing he needed to stay. His heart feeling that he couldn´t. It wasn´t feeling right. This house. Being a part of this family again, the family he left behind all those month ago.

Maybe it was the right time now. The time to try out.  
But he wasn´t ready to.

The fight went on for hours, never leaving him alone, as the slight trembling in his leg wasn´t. This brought a third party into the battle. The ugly one: Withdrawals.  
His need for heroin grew stronger within the next hours, not letting him go back to sleep, while the whole city grew silent.

Right now he was seated with his back against the door of his room. Darkness creeping over, grabbing out for him, like dirty hands that wanted to get him.  
His heart raced and his head kept spinning, while it constantly repeated a single phrase like a mantra. _Stay focused, stay focused. Don´t give in. Stay focused_.

His stomach cramped, making him feel sick again. If only it wouldn´t be so hard, if only it wouldn´t hurt that much, if only his parents hadn´t brought him home, if only he hadn´t been so stupid to walk along a damn railroad.

Suddenly his eyes snapped open and for the first time within days he felt able to focus again. Within seconds he stood up, grabbed an old school bag and filled it with clothes.  
Then he opened his door without making a sound, sneaking downstairs into the living room. There was the cupboard with the photo of his great-great-grandmother, left side, last drawer. It had a false bottom. Jake opened it carefully and smiled as he saw the content of the drawer. His parents were still so stupid and placed their secret money reservoir in here.

He emptied it halfway, filling his pockets with one, five and twenty dollar notes, and then he put the rest into his old school bag and rose to his feet.

To his surprise the front door was locked. "Shit", he whispered to himself and sneaked upstairs again. In front of his window stood a huge old maple tree.

Jake opened the window, shouldered his bag and climbed on the tree, slowly making his way to the ground. The last branch hung about seven feet over the ground. Jake took a deep breath and jumped.

He did not land perfectly, surely because of his trembling leg, causing him to twist his right ankle. Jake swore, then settled his bag right and began hobbling through the he reached the street, he bit on his lip, ignored the constant throbbing in his ankle and started running.  
"I´m coming back, Wendy", he whispered to himself. "Don´t worry. We´ll be fine."

_**Please review. **_


	5. Wendy

_**Author´s Note:**__It has been almost a year since I updated this story and I honestly don´t expect anyone to be still interested, but maybe someone out there will read it nevertheless.  
If you do – and if you were waiting the whole time. I am sorry but I always want to have at least the next chapter finished before I post the current one and I had a huge writers block on the next chapter. A really huge one. Once again: Sorry for the delay._

_**Islanda**__, many thanks to your reviews, it´s great you stuck up to my stories all these years.  
Many thanks to __**ice queen, Guest **__and __**Person**__ for your reviews. It's great to see that my work is appreciated. Well you will find out who Wendy is in this chapter. I hope you like it._

_**Disclaimer: **__I do not own Cheaper by the dozen or the song used in the beginning. _

_**Author´s Note 2:**__ I am no native speaker and I haven´t written anything in English for a long time so excuse my mistakes. I could need a beta though._

**4th Chapter**

_**Wendy**_

_I serve my head up on a plate  
it´s only comfort calling late  
´cause there´s nothing else to do  
every me and every you  
(Placebo – Every me and every you)_

He had fallen asleep while sitting in an empty cabin of a train heading back to Chicago and did not wake up until the train stopped.

Limping out of the train he realized that the sun had risen and it was now in the early morning hours. He yawned tiredly, rubbing his eyes and walked out of the station, making his way back to the darker parts of the city.

Even with the sun shining, Jake froze, trying to dig himself deeper into his hoodie, his hands pulled into fists and slammed into his pockets.

By the time he reached the quarter where they had seized an apartment there were more and more people passing by.

Jake felt better now that he was so close to – home. He smiled a bit, getting some of his strength back, somehow rushing through his veins. His leg had stopped trembling and the twitching in his fingers wasn´t bad anymore, it was welcomed now that he knew it wouldn´t be long until he would get some again.

Wendy would take care of him. She always did. She was lovely and kind; she always knew how to make him feel better. When he finally entered the old apartment building and pushed the broken door open he knew everything would be fine.

He made his way up to the fourth floor and banged at the old, scratched door. Please be there, Wendy. He thought. Please be there.

~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~

It wasn´t Wendy who opened the door, it was a blonde man around Jakes age, who would have looked handsome and well-build, if it wasn´t for the dark circles under his eyes and the too pale skin under the sparely amount of freckles around his nose.

"Alec", Jake grinned.

"Jakey-boy, where have you been? Wendy´s been worriedly sick, you´ve been gone for almost three days. Come in man."

He led Jake into the apartment where Jake thankfully fell down on the mattress Wendy and he were sparing. "Where´s she?", he asked, looking up to Alec who was placing himself on an old and ragged armchair. The boyish grin on Alec´s face disappeared. "She´s looking for you, man", he said, rubbing his arm. "Haven´t seen her since she left this morning, I mean, I haven´t seen her up so early since forever."

Jake gulped and let his head sank into his hands. His stomach hurt, growling from hunger, aching from the twitching of his insides. "I need a shot", he murmered.

"I`m sorry, , haven´t got left anythin´", Alec said, looking at him with pity. "Took my last bunch yesterday to fall asleep. Just wait ´till Wendy´s back. Guess she hold somethin´ back for you." He smiled. "That´s real love."

"Do you have a cigarette at least?"

Alec snored. "Are you crazy? Those things are poison for a sporty guy like me. Never heard of lung cancer?!"

Jake couldn´t hold back a smile now. That was why he liked Alec that much, why he was happy to have him as a friend. Ever since he met him, Alec had always been the kind of a person who always found the golden needle in a haystack.

And even if he was on the streets since he was sixteen, even if he was a drug addict way longer then Jake or Wendy, he still hadn´t lost himself completely.

Sure sometimes Alec could be a real pain in the ass, like it seemed that he never stopped talking – man, he even talked in his sleep – or the fact that he seemed hyperactive, and yes, sometimes his constantly jokes were annoying, but it was okay, because Alec was a real friend. Someone who would get your ass out of any trouble, if he could.

The girls loved his dorky smile and his good looks and his buddies liked his chumminess.

"Alright, alright", Jake said, rubbing his arm and wiping his nose with his sleeve. That´s when he noticed that he was still wearing his hoodie. No wonder he was sweating.

He stripped it of and sent it to a corner. "I´m just – I had no shot for almost two days." He grimaced when a cold chill was sent down his spine, causing in intestines to cramp again. "It´s really bad. I don´t even know how I made it here."

"Cramps?", Alec asked.

Jake nodded and leant back. It had been better for a while, but now they were coming back worse than before and his throat was aching.

"You´ve at least something to drink?", he asked hopefully.

"Yeah, back in the kitchen. You can make it?"

Jake nodded again and got up, the world spinning for a moment, ´causing him to feel sick again. He was already in the entrance of the damaged kitchen when the door opened.

~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~

Wendy Henderson was amazing.

Her dark blond hair was gently stroking her cheeks, and her delicate shape made her moves look like the ones of cat. Her eyes, even if right now, Jake couldn´t see them because she had lowered her face to the ground, were green - soft, but paralyzing green - and her smile always began in the left corner of her mouth.

"Wendy", he whispered, his voice still raspy.

That´s when she looked up, her forehead frowning, her gaze wearily, but as soon as she saw him, it softened and the smile he loved that much appeared.

Suddenly she led out a yell, dropped her handbag – he did not even know why she had one, he officially doubted that there were any possessions she had that would make it in this purse – and ran over to him, falling into his arms, almost making his shaky legs give out under her weight.

"Jake", she whispered.

She had a wonderful voice. It was soft and lovely, nothing raspy on it. "Where the heck have you been?", she asked, a single tear running down her cheek when she finally let go of him and looked him in the eyes.

"They took me to the hospital", he explained.

There was a sharp breath coming from the door of the room they were sleeping in. Alec stood in the doorframe and watched him pitiful. "How got you out?"

"I didn´t", Jake explained. "They found my parents and they took me home. Couldn´t make it out until everybody slept."

"Fuck", Alec murmured.

"How are you holding up then?"; Wendy asked, stroking his cheek.

"I need some", he whispered, taking her hand in his and pulling it hard, harder than he was supposed to. "Please tell me you´ve got something left. It hurts."

That was when he couldn´t keep it down anymore. Suddenly it all broke down on him. That he had been back home, the place he had sworn he would never enter again, the cramps that were running through his body and the need, the unstoppable feeling that he would become insane if he would not get a shot soon.

"Shhh", she made in a hushed tone, kissing his trembling lips. Then she led him to their sleeping place and pulled him down with him. "Just wait a sec", she whispered, stroking his hair out of his face. Then she disappeared, ignoring his protests.

When she came back, she had the heroin in a plastic back, a spoon and a lighter, the needles and an old tie. She lit it up until the heroin liquefied, setting his arm and filling the needle.

"Hush, little baby", she whispered while she pricked the needle in, flushing the wonderful gold into his system.

Jakes eyes fluttered, his heart beating faster for a moment, before its rate fell down rapidly, all his worries with it, wandering somewhere he would be able to dump them.

**I almost do not dare to write it, but : Please review.**


	6. Running

_**Authors Note:**__ There comes the next chapter. I am not really content with it, especially the second part, but I am glad I finally finished it, because it took me almost a years!  
Somehow it seems like I am done with that horrible writers block, because I´m already done with two other chapters, but you never know._

_Many thanks go to __**BatGirl463 **__who reviewed on the last chapter. I doubt that I would have updated this story – especially this chapter – if you hadn´t written this review._

_**Warnings: **__This chapter contains drug abuse, mentions prostitution (__nothing__ graphic) and criminal actions. I know this is tough and it´s probably rated high T, but I hope some of you will still read and review it.  
It´s probably one of the tougher chapters._

_**Disclaimer: **__I do not own Cheaper by the Dozen or anything else but the plot. _

_**Authors Note 2:** Please note that I am no native speaker. So there might be some mistakes. _

**5th Chapter**

_**Running**_

_There she blows,  
there she blows again,  
pulsing through my vein  
and I just can´t contain  
the feelin´ that remains  
(The La´s – There she goes)_

He swam in an ocean of red lights, moving him up and down constantly.

That was all. The days when the shots brought him somewhere over the rainbow, made him feel better then wonderful were long gone. Nowadays he needed it just to get off the horrible pain, to stop the withdrawal, the heaving in his stomach, the itching in his fingers.

It helped him find rest, but did not bring him the comfort it used to the first times he took it.

Everything around him was in sort of a haze, himself captured in the middle of it, voices around him whispered comforting words while a hand – Wendy´s hand – brushed his hair out of his face. At least he could find peace again.

~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~

When he finally broke through the surface again, it was midday, the sun shining brightly on his face , forcing Jake to close his eyes. He groaned.

"You´re okay?"

It was Wendy. She sat next to his mattress, still brushing his hair with her fingers. She was even more beautiful then he remembered.

"Of cause I am", he said, his voice raspy.

"You need some water?" Her voice wasn´t raspy at all, it was soft and lulling, barely more than a winter´s breeze. He nodded and slowly managed to sit up, leaning himself against the wall.

As soon as the cold water touched his lips, he suddenly realized how thirsty he was. He drank a whole bottle at once like he had been in the desert for days without anything to drink.

When he was finished, Wendy had prepared a plate with food, some bread and butter and even an apple that she had cut into small, mouth-fitting pieces.

He gorged the bread within seconds, causing his stomach to relax thankfully, and then went on with the apple, eating it much slower, almost chewing it to juice.

Carefully, he lifted his head and looked at Wendy who had been watching him silently and was now stroking his hair again.

"You´re better?", she asked softly. He nodded; feeling like he´d lost his voice for a moment.

When he finally got it back, all he managed was a horse whisper: "I missed you."

"I missed you, too, you idiot."

"Yeah, we all missed each other, probably crying ourselves to sleep those nights Jakey-boy had been missing."

Alec had entered the room and was now walking around, packing an old leather bag.

"You´re working tonight?", Jake asked him, biting his lips immediately. He did not want to think about Alec´s so called job, it made him sick. But Alec was the one out of them that earned the most money. Business men in their forties and fifties, who needed a side-kick or fast and good fulfil of the lusts of their hidden sides, were the best customers someone in Alec´s business could have got, because they paid the most and never caused any trouble.

It was much easier for Alec to buy his shots then for Jake, who still tried to get his money from stealing, handle stolen goods or do small jobs for dubious persons. But money did not grow on trees and the gram did cost a lot those days.

"Mr.S is in the city and what person would I be if I would not give my best customer some extra time?" Alec smiled at them, then poked his tongue out at them and left the apartment without another word.

"Guess we´re alone tonight", Wendy whispered into his ear.

~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~

He woke up to Wendy´s humming. Still tired, he sat up and watched her sitting with her back to him and washing old clothes in a basin. Not wanting to disturb her, Jake got up quietly and tried to sneak into the kitchen, he was almost there, when she called him.

"Would you make me some coffee?"

Jake smiled to himself, mocking himself for thinking he would get out of the room without her realizing. Those days were over, the moments where he could and would disappear between siblings and chaos, only being realized when bad news was brought into the household by his teachers or the neighbour´s complaining.

He entered the kitchen and grabbed a mug, slowly cleaning it as good as possible before filling it with instant coffee. He filled the boiler with water and waited patiently for it to cook, while drinking a glass of water. When the water was ready and the mug filled up with the boiling liquid he turned around on his heels to see if he could find some sugar, knowing Wendy would never drink her coffee without it. He found the packet in the corner of the counter, next to unwashed dishes and a half eaten pizza.

He grabbed the sugar with his left and a slice of pizza with his right hand and inspected the food. It was dry and at least a day old but eatable.

Chewing the cold pizza, he filled some sugar into the cup and mixed it with his finger due to lacking a spoon. He carefully carried the cup into the so-called living room and placed it on the floor next to Wendy. Then he seated himself on the old blankets that formed their sleeping place and watched Wendy working.

Her humming had been replaced by a soft whistling, and Jake had to smile once again, feeling reminded of Snow White in the Disney movie. He would never admit it, but he loved the old fashioned animations. No matter how bad it would be, they were always getting their happy end.

Suddenly Wendy stopped whistling and turned around to face him.

"When you were gone, Duncan was here. He wants his money back. He was really angry."

Jake gulped and for a moment he sat completely still. Then he got into focus again.

"I will get it for him in time, don´t worry. I plan to go to the store in the train station this afternoon."

The sun outside of the apartment told him it must be around midday. Slowly he sat up again and placed himself next to Wendy. "I really missed you", he whispered while stroking a strand of her dark blond hair behind her ear.

She stopped her work for a second and turned to face him.

"You know, you had me worried sick. I did not know what happened, where you were, you could have been dead. And I was mad at myself because we had this argument before and a screamed a lot. And then – with the blink of an eye – you were gone. And then, at night, when I had to sleep all by myself, I kept telling myself that you just ran away. But you would never do that, would you? Because only cowards run away and you´re no coward. You would never run away, right?"

For the third time within minutes Wendy made him smile.

"Never", he said.

~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~cbtd~

Later that day he walked over to the train station of West End on his way to his – well, favourite store. It was a medium sized market for electronics. Handy – if you needed things to sell on the street, to make money – fast.

Normally there was only one salesman at a time, regularly only some college student who needed extra money to pay the bills and did not really care for the store itself.

Jake couldn't help but smile when he entered the store. Sure after a few days of the field he was a bit rusted but this would gonna be a piece of cake.

Slowly he entered the store and wandered through the aisles. Ignoring the bad feeling he always got when he was about to steel something, Jake quickly turned his head left and right before grabbing an IPod from the cupboard and let it slide into his pocket skilfully.

He repeated the procedure on other aisles with different stuff until he felt it was enough to get a decent amount of money. He then picked up a set of batteries and went to the register to buy it. The salesman, a grumpy old man with bad eyes made did not even look into Jakes face while handing him over his change and so Jake confidently walked to the door.

He had just opened it when suddenly he heard someone behind him:

"Why don´t you show me your pockets, kiddo?"

Stiffened Jake turned around to see a huge, black man with a nametag on his shirt starring at him. Jake gulped. Never would he have imagined there would be someone else working here then the grumpy dude at the cashier.

Without thinking twice Jake ran.

He left the store, turning to his left and through the streets as fast as he could. He ran into the train station, almost bumping into the only person desperate enough to take a walk in the scary abandoned part of the city.* Jake stumbled a bit, but caught himself before falling to the ground, still hearing his chaser behind him. He turned around and smiled. Sure, he could still hear him, but even with his sick body he was faster than this dude.

The only problem was that he was already out of his breath. Damn drugs did not make him really sporty.

He turned around again, almost laughing when he realized that his chaser had dumped into the same person as he was and was now lying on the ground. Jake took the advantage and ran into the rest room next to him, making his way into one of the cabins sitting down on the toilette with his feet against the door.

It wasn´t easy to try and breath as quietly as possible but somehow Jake managed to calm himself down. He listened carefully for any noises that would tell him that the store´s employee had followed him into the restroom but after ten minutes or so Jake finally let his feet slide to the ground, relaxing, aware that no one would find him here.

Slowly he became aware of his surroundings and realized that the restroom was filled up with ultraviolet light. He had to squeeze his eyes for a moment to adjust his vision to the dark and unpleasant light but the only change was that now it seemed like his whole body was covered with a film of bluish paint, lightened up by aggressive red light. It was as if he had dived into a strange, sickening ocean, and was about to drown in it.

He shuddered and shook off the queasy feeling, stood up and walked out of the restroom to find some potential buyers for his acquisitions.

_*I never was in Chicago or even in the USA before, I don´t know what the city looks like except for the common photos you can find on the internet. I just made up a city in my mind and named it Chicago, if you don´t mind._

_**If you liked this chapter – and even if you don´t and have some constructive criticism, please review. **_


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